A Desperate Attempt To Explain UnSuitability

"It Was ... Odd."  The UnSuitable Motto

Q. Who are the UnSuited and why are they on the Unnamed page?

A. As to why they are here, it has much to do with the deep rooted familial instinct possessed by many of the UF members. As Julia Kocich stated of our relationship to the Unsuited, "I think of the Unsuiteds as the evil twin of the Unnamed, and much like Lacroix I believe in keeping families together."

The following is a post Marcia Tucker dropped on the FORKNI list following the Bridging of the Knight convention in January of 1997 that explans how the UnSuited came into being.

Date: Tue, 21 Jan 1997 20:08:45 -0500
From: Marcia Tucker
Subject: ADULT: New Affiliation!

Disclaimer: Not ever to be taken seriously, and purposely off the wall because we were led/dragged there by two very fine actors!


The Unsuiteds (LaCroix/Schanke faction)

Charter Members: Julia Kocich, Illinois Jules, Marcia Tucker, Karen Tobin, and the Keeper of the Can (and a few others!)

The Unsuiteds began January 18, 1997 when Nigel Bennett and John Kapelos arrived at the Bridging of the Knight (a charity auction in San Ramon, CA) wearing identical black suits and really pedestrian ties. (Nigel, don't ever wear a tie again!) (They had appeared the previous day in casual clothing, and now sat before us, with Jon Cassar, again dressed casually, sitting between them.) Julia, the First Inquirer After the Suits, asked the two actors if they'd meant to dress like they were attending a Senate sub-committee hearing. Without further provocation, said actors (actually, Mr. Kapelos (g) ) delightfully launched a running joke about the two of them which continued through the entire weekend, leading the minds of those not inclined to go where none of us had any mind to go but had no choice.

Karen, Motto Maker, described the affiliation as "the faction that REALLY, REALLY never dares say its name." (2 REALLYS required.)

Our affiliation pin design will be a dented Coke Can (read further for the Legend of the Can).

The name was suggested by Julia. "Unsuited" is indicative of not only the black suits, but also a reminder that LaCroix and Schanke, the actors' characters on FK, are totally Unsuited for each other (although John and Nigel make a nice pair) (Susan Garrett dubbed them the Dynamic Duo, and captured their ... energy and enthusiasm by saying that they would make Robin Williams appear sedate) and that we really wonder what goes on when they are "unsuited" or out of the suits!

John and Nigel kept up a frequent stream of quick, pointed comments about the two of them throughout the weekend including the following:

1) John Kapelos singing the Unsuited Theme Song: "Last night, I couldn't get to sleep at all..." which was included with comments that one of them snores and that John hogs the blanket.

2) John: He's great in the sack.
Nigel: You promised you wouldn't tell.
John: Kiss and tell!

3) Jane Largent (the emcee): Nigel isn't wearing any underwear.
John: That's because I'm wearing them. (beat) And they're loose!

4) Jane L about John: He's actually a con virgin.
Nigel: That was until last night.

4) Nigel at one point modeling a particular wardrobe item, with John fastidiously hovering to primp around him, flecking off imaginary pieces of lint, etc.

Oh, there's more out there! (Ro Hart, I know you have more goodies in your little notebook!)

The Unsuiteds episode is, by default, "Close Call" as possessing the only scene between LaCroix and Schanke in the entire series. (And what a delicious chemistry was not ever there!)

*********THE LEGEND OF THE CAN*************

The Coke Can that Nigel drank from during Saturday's auction (thanks to Gillian for this correction) was up to be auctioned off Sunday morning. Appropriately, to up the value of the can, Nigel was asked to bite it, to add teeth, if not fang, marks. Upon noting by someone that there were now traces of Nigel's DNA in the saliva on the can, it was supposed that the DNA could be used via genetic engineering to create a "love child", which of course upped the value of the can yet again.

As soon as John got involved in the hawking of the Can, things turned DECIDEDLY Unsuited! John Kapelos, the dear man, of course had to bite the can as well, adding traces of *his* DNA, which could potentially be used with Nigel's to create the Child of the Unsuited Pair.

Quoting John Kapelos: "Can't wait to see our child!"

At which point the question came up as to whether the child would inherit John's physical traits or Nigel's, John's talents or Nigel's. Jon Cassar, unable to hold back a second longer, jumped into the fray with "And whose hair would he have?"

Immediately the assembly was treated to a dual flash of male pattern baldness! (And I saw camera flashes go off, so I know someone caught this!!)

The Can was successfully won for $150 by one of the Charter Members with devious intentions. The Can was even presented by Nigel on bended knee, and the report is that his lips on her hand were "very soft."

It is expected that sufficient evidence of LaCroix and Schanke's (Nigel and John's) Unsuitedness will appear in the Bridging videotapes that we understand Nigel's fan club will be offering and we urge all to order this/these - it's for a good cause!! Then you may enjoy with the rest of us who are totally horrified (or just dementedly titillated) by such an Unsuited pairing (although Nigel and John ... never mind.) Actually, the weekend was so good, you're going to want the tape/tapes even if the blue stuff is cut out! (Well, we do!)

Again, the Path of Unsuitedness is one on which none of us were willingly led, but were encouraged to travel by these two actors for whom we have only the highest respect and love. (I told John about the faction, saying, "you know of course this will be all over the Internet in a day or so" and he laughed and said to go for it.)

All in fun,
The Charter Members of the Unsuited

Kelly Green's filk song, I Feel Lucky can be found here. (Note: Leslie contends that this song is actually a FoNDL (Friends of Nick, Don and Lacroix) ballad, not strictly an UnSuitable one. However, much UnSuitableness does seem to slide in a FoNDLable direction.)

Julia Kocich's Bridging the Gap, won the raffle in the UnSuited Challenge. It is rated PG. :)

Other PG-rated UnSuited fiction can be found on Mel Moser's Forever Knight Fiction site in the UnSuited Challenge section.

Two Lacroix/Schanke (yes, the / is there for a reason) stories, Completely ... UnSuitable and Bridging the Gap: What A Trip, can be found on Leslie's fiction site. (If you do venture to read the latter story, you might consider reading Julia's story listed above first, to place it in context. That is, if you care whether your slash is in context or not. :) )

The pics above were captured by Immajer from the FK episode, Close Call. This is the preeminent UnSuited episode, redolent as it is with that incredible tension inherent in this relationship (the fact that this is the only episode in which Schanke and Lacroix interact notwithstanding.).

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