T h e F a k e B o o k:

fan fiction by p. q. laertes

This is a small archive of fiction by p. q. laertes. It is very unlikely that this page will be updated, as p. q. laertes will not be writing any more fic. She does, however welcome comments at pqlaertes yahoo com.


Gotham's Child
Graffito seen in the Gotham subway.

Myth of the Bat
A Forever Knight crossover. The Joker makes a visit to Toronto, and Batman meets LaCroix.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Alternative Lifestyle
Rated PG Her Watcher captured, the Slayer finds herself in a strange place where her parents are still alive, Drusilla's soul was never restored, and Rupert Giles doesn't even wear leather. (Art by Totally Bogus Press
Nominated for "Best Buffy," "Best Romance," and "Best Drama" in the Halo Awards.

The Angel Line
Harmless merriment.

Giles must rely on his wits to defeat a Sunnydale horror that thrives on blood.

I Get Breathless at the Buzzing of the Bike
A G&S Filk from the Ripperverse.

A drabble. Giles and Willow have a little talk about Magick.

May 10, 1976
A Doctor Who / Hellblazer crossover written for my birthday. John Constantine's birthday party.

Sleeping Beauty
Death and mercy.

Some Small Kindness
Rated R Shattered in the aftermath of Becoming, Giles has a visit from Ethan Rayne (slash)

Star Light . . .
Rated PG A drabble. Buffy makes a wish.

Buffy (and other fandom) limericks.


Ofermod I & II
Two poems. Even after His Way, Odo still can't quite trust in his own good fortune.

Wet Dream
Rated R A silly drabble -- Odo, Kira, and a bathtub.

Due South

Due Credit 1999 Winner, Best Fraser/Ray Vecchio
Due Credit 1999 2nd Place, Best Slash NC17
Rated R Fraser's increasing loneliness leads him to an desperate encounter. Probably the piece I put the most work into. (slash)

Our Boys as vampires, in response to Cat Dudka's Undead Benny/Forever Fraser Challenge.

Rated R Our Boys, pre-pilot, a drabble.

The Benny Horror Picture Show
A couple of silly, slashy filks.

Cats, Sigh.
Due Credit Nominee 1999
Kittens for everyone. Except Dief. Poor Dief.

Could I Revive Within Me
Due Credit Nominee 1999
Rated PG Fortitude Pass.

Facile Princeps
Due Credit 1999, 3rd Place Fraser/Other Woman
What if Fraser and Francesca were married? My response to the run of benny&meggy stories.

Getting Mucklucky
Rated PG A drabble for James -- m/m h/c silly, with muckluks in the corner.

Just This
Rated PG F/F slash and a death, my response to the run of meggie vs. frannie stories.

Lessons in Woodcraft
an acrostic drabble poem -- Ray and Benny in the woods (slashy)

A Motion Not My Own
Due Credit 1999, 3rd Place Ray Vecchio/Other Woman
Rated DM A companion to CIRWM. Ray and Ange spend the last night of their marriage together.

Not Even Inuit Stories
Due Credit 1999, 2nd Place Ray Vecchio/Other Woman
One of my best pieces. When one of Fraser's stories fails to have the usual effect, Ray goes to Ange.

Due Credit Nominee 1999
Saturday morning at the Vecchio house

The Spelling Lesson
Benny tries to help Ray with his spelling, but ends up learning something himself. (slashy)

Tom Sawyer's Island
Benny and Ray discover a little Secret from the past at Disneyworld.

Totidem Verbis
Rated R An intimate conversation between Ray and Ben. (slash)

Unlocked Room Mystery
Rated PG A drabble on Fraser's apartment.

Wednesday Morning
Frannie and Pop have a little talk.

Doctor Who

Brief Encounters, Brief Lives
A Sandman crossover vignette. Brief Lives was a Sandman story arc, and Brief Encounters used to be a vignette feature in DWM.

Crying Wolf
A followup to The Curse of Fenric written with lots of help from Amy Steele. Appeared in Sonic Screwdriver.

It's Got Three Sides
Rated R
A drabble. What Tegan and Turlough were doing while the Doctor was away during the events of Triangle.  

May 10, 1976
A Hellblazer / Buffy crossover written for my birthday. John Constantine's birthday party.

A Books of Magic crossover. The Doctor rescues Tim Hunter from alien invaders, but when the TARDIS is invaded, it will take both of them to save Tegan, Turlough and themselves.

Ace and the Doctor peruse the TARDIS video library. Amy Steele-inspired silliness.

The Splintering
A Sandman/ Hellblazer/ Stranger crossover. The Doctor and Ace try to avoid the fate the NAs hold for them.

Rated R
The Seventh Doctor sends the Fifth Doctor to see Ace after Love and War

Forever Knight

And Ever After
A drabble -- what if Nick did become mortal?

And For Her
A Nigel's Birthday Drabble. What do you give The Ravenette for her birthday?

The Crucible of Pillows
Nick finds true happiness through his dreams.

Echoes After Night
Rated R
Nick and Dr. Amanda Turner learn about themselves in the aftermath of Night in Question

Elegies for My Daughter
A poem. LaCroix mourns for Divia.

LaCroix's Valentine
A pantoum for Be My Valentine. Also printed in Forever Net 5.

Many Happy Returns
A Nigel's Birthday Drabble. Uncle dreams up the perfect gift.

Myth of the Bat
A Batman Crossover. The Joker visits Toronto and Batman meets Lacroix. Probably the most fun I've had writing.

No Child of His
Rated R.
A drabble set after Ashes to Ashes. (posted and forgotten about in 1998.

Nightlong Pantoum -- Skyline
A poem. The women in Nick's life across time.

Outside the Window
Rated R
1997 Nominee FKFF award
1998 Winner FKFF award
Nick doesn't make love to Natalie.

The Raven Flown
Rated R
Nick missing Janette.

A Real Pleasure, Don
A Nigel's Birthday Drabble. To absent friends.

Solo for Three Voices
A drabble -- Vachon considers Family.

Stumbling Block
A meditation on Nick and Fic.

With Greatest Admiration
A Nigel's Birthday Drabble. Natalie gets a surprise.


Dressing Down
A drabble, Janine finally gets Egon to notice her.

Jeeves & Wooster

Jeeves and the Forbidden Vice
Jeeves has been warned about this. (slash)

Lord of the Rings

Cirith Ungol, A Fragment
Poem. What happens when you spend too long in the appendices.

Sam and Ted Sandyman have words. (slash)

Promises, Promises: a Cinquenta
The other side of the Sea.


Jareth in Feathers
A poem. After 13:00, Jareth pays the price for failure. Probably my favorite piece.


A Contrecoeur
Rated R Sam gives in.

Jack Loves Sam
An acrostic drabble. A love letter from Jack.

Kindness of Strangers
Sam is helped by a good Samaritan.

Quantum Leap

A drabble. Sam finally returns home, to find that time is not always kind.

Oh, Boy
Between leaps, Sam remembers something essential.


Hamlet slash in a convenient sonnet packaging.

She Wolf of London

Ian and Randi move back to London and find the perfect new apartment. Except for the ghost. (Set after Mystical Pizza) -- The longest story I've posted so far.

Letter to Charlie
Randi writes a last letter to Charlie Beaudine (Before CKtK).

Sleeping Habits
One full moon night. (Set in LA)

Vertigo Comics

Brief Encounters, Brief Lives
A Doctor Who / Sandman crossover set during Brief Lives.

May 10, 1976
A Doctor Who / Buffy / Hellblazer crossover written for my birthday. John Constantine's birthday party.

A Doctor Who / Books of Magic crossover. The Doctor rescues Tim Hunter from alien invaders, but when the TARDIS is invaded, it will take both of them to save Tegan, Turlough and themselves.

The Splintering
A Doctor Who / Stranger / Sandman /Hellblazer crossover featuring Death and John Constantine.

X Files

The Angle of the Wrist
Rated R Weeks after Memento Mori, the symptoms Mulder begins to see drive him to make an offering of tenderness.

Miscellaneous Limericks
Buffy, DS9, Profiler, Xena, 10th Kingdom.

Please send all comments to pqlaertes yahoo com