Subject: Bah! Humbug! (01/01) Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 01:24:02 -0600 From: Nancy Kaminski To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU ======================= Bah! Humbug! (01/01) A Christmas Frivolity By Nancy Kaminski (c) December 2002 ======================= London December 22, 1884 The large, elegant ballroom was awash with the sound of talk, laughter, and music. Candles glowed warmly in the crystal chandeliers and reflected in the gilded mirrors that lined the pine-wreathed walls. The attendees at the Duchess of Wyndhurst's Christmas ball were the crème de la crème of society, dressed in their silken and bejeweled finest. Unbeknownst to the duchess, her invited attendees also included three vampires, nobility of a much different and far more ancient sort. Janette Ducharme listened with half an ear to a young baronet enthuse about his latest litter of foxhound puppies, a look of polite semi-interest frozen on her face. Over the baronet's shoulder she could see Nicholas sweeping around the dance floor with a plain young woman in his arms. He was chatting animatedly with her, and she was responding to his onslaught of charm with blushes and smiles that made her almost attractive. *How strange,* she thought, *it is usually I who enjoy this sort of gathering, and Nicholas who ends up sulking in the garden.* She sighed mentally and said, "How interesting," when the baronet paused after another excruciatingly boring tale of country life. "Would you be so kind as to fetch me another glass of wine?" she asked, hoping to forestall any more of his inane chatter. "It would be my pleasure, Mademoiselle," he replied eagerly, and loped away towards the nearest waiter. Relieved to have escaped the tedious young man so easily, Janette slipped away through the crowd. Nodding coolly to acquaintances as she swept past them, she sought a refuge from the noise and gaiety of the ball. Perhaps the ladies' retiring room upstairs would provide the peace and quiet she needed to restore her mood. Or perhaps she could get the tedious baronet alone in the garden and restore herself in the time-honored vampire way. Before Janette could pursue this dangerous train of thought, Nicholas whirled his dance partner to a breathless standstill in front of her. "Thank you for the dance, Miss Darlington," Nicholas smiled. "You dance like an angel." The girl blushed an even brighter shade of pink. "Oh, Mr. Knight, you do flatter me." "Nonsense, I speak only the truth. I should not be surprised if you are kept dancing all night long by the young men here. Is that not right, Mr. Williams?" Nicholas had turned his eyes on a handsome young man standing nearby. Janette was amused to watch Nicholas use his vampire persuasion on not only the hapless Mr. Williams, but also the men he had been talking with. "I shall leave you to their attentions, Miss Darlington." Nicholas bowed over her hand, and then joined Janette, drawing her a little aside. Together they watched the happily overwhelmed Miss Darlington holding out her dance card to the young men gathered around her. "You did her a kindness, Nicolas. Such a drab little wren would never merit this kind of attention on her own." "It's a pity, for she is really quite intelligent and amusing once she overcomes her shyness. She has a dragon for a mother who has told her time and again she is destined for spinsterhood because she is so plain. I hope the old basilisk will see how her daughter can blossom when given the chance. And perhaps these young fools will see what they have been overlooking." "You are a hopeless romantic, Nicolas." Something in her voice made him look at her closely. "Perhaps," he answered. "Is something amiss, ma cherie? You do not seem to be enjoying yourself tonight." "I am not in the mood for gaiety tonight, Nicolas. I feel --- restless, bored, *something*. Let us leave." "But---" Nicholas began, but Janette held up her gloved hand. "Please, Nicolas, let us go. Or if you choose to stay and do more good deeds for the unattractive debutantes of London, then stay. I shall go alone." "Nonsense. Of course I'll go with you. What about Lacroix?" Nicholas looked around the crowded room, attempting to find their sire. Janette waved a hand. "Lacroix is off in the billiard room refighting Waterloo with General Moresby. I left as soon as they started talking about cavalry tactics. So tedious." Nicholas snorted quietly. "Moresby's old enough to have been there --- he must be ninety if he's a day. So we'll leave the old generals to themselves, then, and hope they do not come to blows over old battles. Where do you wish to go?" Janette tucked her arm through Nicholas' and started towards the front of the house. "I do not know. Anywhere, so long as there are no mortals and no Christmas." As they moved towards the front hall, weaving their way though the throng, Janette glanced up at the staircase and stopped. A little girl in a night dress, a gaily-colored quilt around her shoulders, was peeking around the corner down at the crowd. Her face was alight with the thrill of watching the adults in their finery and hearing the music play in the ballroom. While Janette watched, a maid came up to the little girl and put her arm around her shoulders. "Come, Mistress Caroline," Janette's preternatural hearing brought the woman's words to her clearly, "It's late. You should be snug in your bed." The maid steered the protesting girl away from the staircase and back down the hall. Nicholas chuckled. "I remember doing the exact same thing when I was small, except it was on the minstrel gallery above the great room. My brother and I would crouch there for hours wrapped up in our cloaks and watch my father's feasts and councils instead of being in bed where we belonged. I'm sure he knew we were up there, because every so often he'd look up as if he could see us. He never let on that he knew, though, and we thought we were being very clever." Janette was silent, thinking of her own father. She had also hidden in the minstrel gallery to watch her parents feast in their own great hall, but she had been caught. Her father had beaten her soundly and cursed her for being a useless and disobedient girl. He had had no sons and took every chance to remind her mother and Janette of that fact, and to tell her that she was a burden and a disappointment to him. She envied Nicholas' fond memories of his family. She had been only too happy to leave her memories in the past. Janette's introspection was interrupted when she and Nicholas were jostled from behind. Nicholas turned and began, "I say, sir, do be careful where you're going." "Oh, er," stammered the young man who had somehow managed to back into the vampires. He stooped to pick up a pencil that he had dropped, put it in his pocket, and tried to straighten his evening jacket. He ran his hand through his curly, light brown hair and his bespectacled, angular face reddened. "I'm terribly sorry, I don't know how that happened, I was just ---" he glanced over Janette's shoulder and a look of anguish and despair passed over his face. "I'm really very sorry, please excuse me, I must go. Cecily..." he hurried away, still trying to tug his rumpled clothes into some semblance of neatness as he followed a dark-haired young woman and her friends into the ballroom. "Wait, you dropped this," Nicholas called, but the young man was out of earshot. Nicholas smoothed out the crumpled piece of paper and scanned it. "Oh, dear," he murmured. "What is it?" Janette asked disinterestedly. "A rather uninspired attempt at poetry. Perhaps it's only a first draft," he added charitably. "I'll leave it on the front table in case he misses it." They collected their outer garments from the footman at the door and went out into the night. The rare snow that had fallen earlier in the evening was melting into dirty slush, and a fine drizzling mist filled the air. Nicholas was about to signal for their coach when Janette interrupted. "No, Nicolas, let us walk. I need to stretch my legs. Leave the coach for Lacroix." "But you'll ruin your shoes and gown," Nicholas objected mildly. "Tscha, what do I care? But let us be away from here!" Janette said irritably. She raised the hood of her deep green velvet cloak over her tumble of black curls and strode off down the street, unmindful of the slush and wet. Nicholas shrugged his own evening cloak more securely on his shoulders, settled his silk top hat, and followed after her. The two vampires walked without words through the streets of London for almost an hour. It was a late enough hour that the streets were thinly populated with hunched, hurrying figures eager to find a warm, dry room. The street lamps wore misty aureoles of golden light that contrasted with the shadows in the recesses of the storefronts. Their meandering route led them from the finest streets to dark alleys near the Thames. "Well?" Nicholas asked as they paused to look down at the gray-black water of the river. He faced her and traced a finger down her cheek. "Are you willing to tell me what troubles you so? Where does this melancholy come from? This is not like you." He smiled slightly. "I fear this is like looking in a mirror and seeing myself when I am in such a mood. However do you tolerate me?" Janette sighed. "Just barely, I assure you. But I do not know why I feel this way. But it seems that everyone I see --- my maid, the coachman, the shop girls, and above all, everybody at the ball --- are entirely too happy. And the more that they wish me a happy Christmas, or the joy of the season, the more that I feel like tearing out their throats. It is all quite ridiculous. I have always been able to tolerate these holidays before, as much as I dislike them." She twitched her cloak irritably and sighed again. "And to add to it all, Lacroix has been so engrossed in his business dealings he is never at home. And you, Nicolas, you have been spending most of your time with your mortal friends and very little with me." "Hmm. I see that we have been neglecting you. Perhaps I can lighten your mood in a way that does not involve the trappings of Christmas or the vexation of overly-cheerful shop girls?" Nicholas murmured as he drew her to him in a light embrace. "Perhaps." Janette's slight frame was stiff in his arms. "You will have to work very hard to lift this ill humor from me, though. I require a great deal of attention, and at the least sign of Christmas I shall become extremely angry." "Very well, I shall cancel the reading of Mr. Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol.' All evidence of pine boughs and holly wreaths shall be removed from the house. I shall also instruct the servants to not wish you a happy Christmas on pain of dismissal, and to look serious at all times. And finally, I shall send your Christmas present back to the jewelers. Will that suffice?" Nicholas felt Janette relax against him as her mood lightened. She laughed softly. "Yes, Nicolas, that will suffice. Except for the part about the present. I will make an exception for the present, and accept it as an apology for your neglect. I trust it is extravagantly expensive and beautiful." Nicholas kissed her. "Yes, ma cherie, it is very extravagant and beautiful. What else could it be, when it is meant for you?" Janette smiled. "Sometimes you do say precisely the right thing. Nicolas, let us go home. I would like you to start apologizing to me as soon as possible, in a very comprehensive manner." She looked around. "Where are we? No matter, let us fly." And without another word, she took his hand. They lifted into the air together and were gone. ******************** Janette stretched luxuriously and smiled. "That was a most satisfactory apology, Nicolas." She fingered the ruby necklace that was currently her only attire. "And a most satisfactory present." Nicholas kissed her shoulder. "I'm glad you like it. You will notice that not once did I wish you a happy Christmas. In fact, I will now say, 'Bah! Humbug!' in the best Scrooge-like manner. Never say I do not keep my promises." He trailed kisses up her neck. "Now," he murmured in her ear, "where is my present?" "What, you want another present? After you unwrapped and enjoyed this one?" She snuggled against his chest. "You are a very greedy boy. But perhaps just this once..." "Bah, humbug," Nicholas said. "Bah, humbug, Nicolas," Janette answered with a smile. "And a happy New Year." Finis =================================== Comments, criticism, and a flawless sense of fashion may be sent to: Nancy Kaminski nancykam@attbi.com ===================================