From owner-fkfic-l@PSUVM.PSU.EDU Fri Mar 8 00:36:44 1996 Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by violet.berkeley.edu (8.7.1/1.33-960227) id AAA03352; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 00:36:42 -0800 Message-Id: <199603080836.AAA03352@violet.berkeley.edu> Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (IBM VM SMTP V2R2) with BSMTP id 9542; Fri, 08 Mar 96 03:34:56 EST Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU (NJE origin LISTSERV@PSUVM) by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (LMail V1.2a/1.8a) with BSMTP id 4583; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 03:34:55 -0500 Date: Fri, 8 Mar 1996 04:50:33 -0500 Reply-To: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories From: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Subject: CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part (1/3) To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Status: RO X-Status: CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part A Forever Knight story by TJ Goldstein and Sorcha O'Faolin [comments to vanguard@packet.net] There are two related stories here. The sequel is called "Lucy" and will be posted in a day or so. FK characters created by James Parriot and Barney Cohen. Everybody else created by us. [Part 1 of 3] It was a quiet evening, all told. It was good. There were a few scattered crickets here and there, just enough to soothe him without the cacaphony of too much. It was already too much. Nick wondered if he would be able to get through this. How many times had he wondered? How many times had he thought of Natalie and what she would tell him? Would have told him, he corrected himself. He thought that he would have felt cheated at this moment, when she was gone to him. But no, these past 28 years had been better than he might have ever imagined. Certainly, given a choice, he would have chosen not to have had to run from the Enforcers, but if that was the price for his then-newfound mortality, so be it. Natalie had jumped at it, as he had hoped she would. Even now it felt strange to stand outside in the moonlight. After almost 800 years of darkness he had emerged into the sun and stayed there, never venturing out after dusk. Now he stood outside the funeral home in the dark, looking at the stars, wondering if he might become like one of those old men who die within a short time of their wives, not because they're ill, but because they simply have no reason to wake up in the morning. The night was cool and he raised his collar to his ears. Soon he would have to go back inside, to face everyone. Now he just needed solitude. "I do believe Nicholas, that it would appear that you have finally grown tired of this charade you call mortality." The voice was, as always, emotionless and chilling. Nick didn't answer for a moment, letting the momentary twinge of terror fade from his heart. Of all the disadvantages mortality had shown him, the inability to sense his former master had been the one that bothered him the most. "LaCroix," was all he said, finally. He pushed off the wall he had been leaning against and began to walk away from the funeral home, from his suddenly very vulnerable family. He knew LaCroix would follow. Knowing it was what he wanted, he did follow him. "My poor Nicholas, still so predictable after all this time." He laughed slightly. "You needn't fear me, I haven't come to harm you or your family." Nick shrugged off the insult, expecting it. He thought that perhaps he should be angry, but instead he felt dead inside, too tired for conflict. "What have you come for, LaCroix?" "To see you, pay my respects to your dear departed Natalie, and if you let me, to comfort you." In a genuine effort to be non-threatening, he put his hand on Nick's shoulder. Nick flinched only slightly at LaCroix's touch, looked at him. "I'm not a child, LaCroix. I know my mortal life has been only a moment for you. You have no respects to pay to Natalie, and I don't even want to imagine what sort of 'comfort' you might have in mind." He shrugged off the hand on his shoulder. "Nicholas, you wound me. I may not have agreed with or even liked her, but I did respect Natalie. She was the kind of adversary that demanded respect. She did to some extent win, albeit only temporarily. Besides, I always mourn the loss of beauty." He smiled as he thought of her, the way she looked on her wedding night, in a rose colored satan neglegee, smiling sweetly with her hair flowing down her back. So soft and yielding, yet fiercely protective, like a proud lioness. That was how he would always remember Natalie. Nick looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. He would not allow himself the luxury of tears before LaCroix. "Then you mourn with me this night." He let the word "temporarily" roll around in his head. "You're here to bring me back," he said factually. He smiled again. "You can be perceptive when you allow yourself to be." Nick didn't say anything, instead he walked slowly out into the park behind the funeral home. He thought of his children, Richard, and Fleurette, raised with a fear of the dark, the night. He'd never explained it to them, save with a scary story about a curse he picked up on an archeological expedition. They had been young then, too young to really question. Lucy was still too young to worry about just yet, but she would have be taught the same thing when the time came. They'd grown up used to the idea that one just didn't go out at night. They just considered their father weird. He had handled that. "How long have you known where we were?" "Really Nicholas, why from the first of course. I always knew where you were. I let you indulge yourself in your quaint little fantasy, knowing it would come to this. Come Nicholas, are you not tired of it all yet? How much more pain do you long for? You've had almost thirty years of mortality. Surely you must have assuaged your guilt by now. You must be ready to resume your rightful place in eternity. I had imagined that you would be eager for it." "Why?" Nick wanted time, wanted to get a handle on where LaCroix was coming from. "Ah yes, why indeed? At first I hoped that the effects of Dr. Lambert's cure would not last. After all, the others hadn't. When it did last, it amused me to observe the two of you. I decided to wait and bring you back across at the moment when you would suffer the most. Then Natalie informed you that she was about to have your child. I knew then that I had waited too long. While she lived, her hold on you would always be greater than mine. So I simply waited. Either Natalie or you would suffer from age and illness, then I would take back what was mine. Time, as they say, would do my dirty work for me." Nick could only nod. He'd actually wanted to know why LaCroix had thought he'd be tired of mortality, but instead he'd gotten a much more enlightening answer. "And so it did." He turned suddenly to face LaCroix. "I owe you an apology." LaCroix was genuinely confused. "An apology, why?" "When we found out that Nat was ... dying, I felt a pain, a loss, that I had never felt before. I knew then what I know now, which is that there is never going to be anything or anyone who can fill up this gaping hole in my being. When I was young, a fledgling, I had never been in love like this. I didn't understand what you felt for Fleur, what it must have taken for you to give her up." Though his inentions may have only been to ask forgiveness, and perhaps even to share his pain, Nick had chosen to bring up the wrong subject. He had spoken of the unforgiveable. LaCroix picked Nick up over his head in anger. "I need no reminder that you have not yet repaid that debt Nicholas," he seethed at him. "I did come to you in a generous mood. I am not yet ready to seek retribution. Rest assured when the time is right, I will be avenged." Nick clawed at the fingers crushing his windpipe and wondered if perhaps LaCroix hadn't forgotten that he was mortal. And this wasn't even comfortable for a vampire, he remembered dimly as his vision began to blur. He wanted to say something to appease LaCroix, but even if he'd been able to think of something, it was out of the question. LaCroix set Nick down as suddenly as he had picked him up. He brushed himself off as if he had just noticed a bothersome piece of lint on his lapel. "Really Nicholas, why do you always choose to annoy me? One would think that you would have acquired better manners by now." Nick sputtered a bit and tried to get his heart to stop pounding. He knew what it sounded like to LaCroix, and besides, the last thing he needed was to have a heart attack here and now. "I must just be a slow learner," he said, leaning on a post trying to catch his labored breath. Because they had been so wrapped up in their own emotions, neither La Croix or Nick had heard anyone approaching. "Dad, are you all right?" Richard sensed the tension between his father and the strange man he was talking to, he looked threateningly towards LaCroix. "You need any help with this guy?" A jolt raced through Nick's heart so hard it hurt. He hadn't wanted his children involved in this. At that moment he was suddenly struck by how much Richard looked like his mother, especially now that he was all grown up. "Rich, stop right there." Richard stopped and stared at his father. He had never seen him react this way. "What are you so afraid of Dad? Who the hell is this guy?" Definitely like his mother. "Richard --" LaCroix strode over to the young man. "Lucien LaCroix. My condolences on the death of your dear mother." Richard glared at him, but it was Natalie's eye's that met LaCroix's. How often had they glared at him in the past? LaCroix had actually enjoyed his encounters with her. That was the real reason he had respected her. He loved the defiance in Natalie's eyes, the fire in her nature. He had never believed that Nick actually deserved her love. If he had been really honest, he would have to admit that he was jealous of Nick's relationship with her. He knew that in her own way, Natalie was his equal. Natalie enjoyed life as ravenously as a vampire consumed it. She fought for Nick with her entire being, warned him not to underestimate her. She was not weak and ashamed the way Nicholas was, not innocent in the way Fleur had been, and not as pleasure centered as Janette. He never understood what it was that had always stopped him from bringing her across for himself. He knew he had the right, Nicholas had given it to him centuries ago, and yet... It was something in Natalie herself that had prevented him from taking her. She truly was as exquisite as he had told her he found her to be. Richard continued to glare at LaCroix. "You could have timed your return a little better," he said sarcastically. He turned to his father, "Dad, there's a lot of people waiting for you inside." He nodded his head towards the building, then focused back on LaCroix. "Haven't you tormented my family enough? I think you'd better leave, you're not welcome here." LaCroix smiled. "I see your son has picked up your manners, Nicholas." [End Part 1] Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine: News of the Science Fiction Universe http://www.cybervanguard.com Come visit us, or write us at vanguard@packet.net for sponsorship info From owner-fkfic-l@PSUVM.PSU.EDU Fri Mar 8 00:36:58 1996 Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by violet.berkeley.edu (8.7.1/1.33-960227) id AAA03362; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 00:36:56 -0800 Message-Id: <199603080836.AAA03362@violet.berkeley.edu> Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (IBM VM SMTP V2R2) with BSMTP id 9546; Fri, 08 Mar 96 03:35:08 EST Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU (NJE origin LISTSERV@PSUVM) by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (LMail V1.2a/1.8a) with BSMTP id 4609; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 03:35:08 -0500 Date: Fri, 8 Mar 1996 04:50:46 -0500 Reply-To: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories From: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Subject: CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part (2/3) To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Status: O X-Status: CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part A Forever Knight story by TJ Goldstein and Sorcha O'Faolin [comments to vanguard@packet.net] [Part 2 of 3] Nick held a hand up to him and, having mostly recovered, went to Richard. What had Natalie told him? "Richard, I don't know who you think this is, but I think you'd better go back inside now. I'll deal with this. Tell everyone ... " Tell everyone what? That he'd be back in a minute if he wasn't a vampire? "Tell everyone I'll be back as soon as I can." "I know damn well who he is Dad. I've known about him since I was sixteen. I heard you and Mom talking about him when you thought I was asleep. And if you think that I'm going to leave you alone out here with this bloodsucking bastard, then think again." Nick cringed at his son's choice of words and hoped that LaCroix would choose to be amused at it. (In fact, LaCroix was thinking that this had turned out to be quite a bit more amusing than he had expected.) "Richard, listen to me. There is nothing you can do here. What's happening here is between LaCroix and I. It has nothing to do with you." "Yes, Richard," LaCroix added, ignoring the daggers Nick glared at him. "I have no intention of harming your father." Richard got up into LaCroix's face. "Yeah sure, as if you wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone in my family. I know how you think. We're just a few steps below you on the food chain as far as you're concerned. Did you bring the Enforcers with you, or don't you like to share your food?" LaCroix's smile grew colder. "Ah youth. Can't you control your children either Nicholas?" "Call it a family trait," Nick mumbled. He turned to Richard. "Rich, I know you're angry, but you're in over your head here. You don't understand what's going on and -- " He took his son by the shoulders as though he could force the words into him. Hypnotism would have come in handy right around now. " -- you're . If you think I fought for 800 years only to watch my son be brought across in a fit of anger, think again." "Dad, I understand enough to know that if I leave you alone out here with him, I might never see you in the daylight again. I know that if Mom were here she wouldn't leave you." He hugged his father determinedly. "I love you and I want to stay with you." Nick's blood ran cold to think that Richard understood so much, that he knew what his father had been. But he knew that he couldn't let this go on. Richard had his mother's intelligence and her devotion, but he also had her complete lack of survival instincts. And hearing him talk about daylight chilled Nick even further. He'd been prepared for the possibility until that point. Had it really been so long that it had become unreal to him? After a moment's deliberation, he turned to LaCroix. "Would you give us a moment, LaCroix?" LaCroix seemed to consider for a few seconds. "Certainly. What is a moment in the face of eternity?" And an instant later, he was gone. Richard watched in amazement, then shuddered. "We've got to get the whole family together and get the hell out of here Dad." Nick held his son for a moment. If only of them knew how much his family really meant to him ... "Rich, I need you to do two things for me. First, I need you to calm down." "Calm down?" He asked increduously. "After what just happened?" His eyes searched his father's face, he saw the strength and love in them. He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "O.K. Dad, you got it. What's next?" "I need you to tell me exactly what you heard that night." He and Nat had been over it so many times over the years, there was no way to know exactly what Richard knew or didn't know. He guided his son to a bench and sat down, wearyly. Suddenly he felt not just his 62 years of mortal life but every one of his centuries of age. Richard told his father how he had woken up one night and overheard his parents talking. He told him what they had said about what Nick had been, who LaCroix was, and what would happen if either he or the Enforcers had found them. Richard had been old enough to understand and fill in the missing pieces. It had all made sense when he had thought about it. The way he and his sisters had been raised, the way no one was allowed out after sunset, how truly and deeply religious his parents had been, as if they had found all the real reasons to believe. He saw the pain and embarrassment in his father's face. "It wasn't your fault Dad. Mom said it that night, that you must never blame yourself. You were a good husband, and no one could have asked for a better father." Nick smiled at that. It mattered. "Who else knows? Do your sisters?" "Well, yes and no. Lucy's too little to talk to, but I did tell Fleurette. I told her about it, but she never believed me. She thought I must have had a bad dream or something. But I kept real close tabs on her after that night." He laughed softly. "She would get really angry when I wouldn't let her sneak off to meet her friends after curfew. She thinks I'm 'really paranoid and completely obsessive.'" Richard rolled his eyes as he imitated Fleurette's mannerisms, then grew serious as he put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "She's still a kid Dad, even if she does think that being almost twenty is really sophisticated. She's never forgiven me for buying the house next door when I got married and moved out. I still won't let her sneak out at night." Nick smiled in spite of himself. like his mother. He sighed. First to lose Natalie, and now the rest of his family. As he thought about it he realized that Richard must be feeling the same way. "I think I understand, a little." He stood, walked slowly. "This life, Rich, was never meant to be. Everything about it has been a miracle." "Dad, we can't lose Mom you, not like this, it's too much. We're a family, we can't be broken up this way. If Mom were here, she'd tell you that you're not alone in this. She'd say that Lucy really needs you now." He gripped his father's arm. "My G-d Dad, she's only ten, she couldn't even begin to understand any of this. We're a family, what effects one of us, effects all of us. How many times did Mom say that while Fleurette and I were growing up? Dad please, let the people that love and need you stand by you." Nick just stood and stared at him. It was as if Natalie had never left him. Still kicking my butt when I need it, eh, Nat? But he could see that behind the brave face his son was trying too hard to maintain, there was a scared little boy who couldn't understand why Dad had to leave. But it wasn't before, when he could just end one life and begin another. He had always been bad about allowing himself to become attached, making it difficult. But this ... this was more than he could do, this his very being. There was only one chance. "Richard, I want you to go back inside." "Dad?" Richard choked, unable to keep up the pretense of courage. "What's going to happen?" Nick felt like his heart was breaking. "You're not a kid anymore, Rich, I'll be honest with you. I'm not sure. It all depends on ... on lots of things you don't have any control over." He nodded, trying not to cry. "O.K. Dad, I'll cover for you back inside. But, I expect you to be in there as soon as possible, got it?" "Yeah. I promise." But he could see in his son's eyes that he didn't believe him. He gave him a hug, sending him off, and watched him go. he ever see him again? He sat down and waited for LaCroix to return, knowing he probably hadn't gone very far, voyeur that he was. He wasn't disapointed when LaCroix appeared within moments . "How like his mother he is. Quite touching really." He sighed, "I suppose I should have kept up with your little family after he was born, but it seemed so boring then. Tell me, what is your eldest daughter, what was her name?" He paused cruelly. "Ah yes, Fleurette, what is she like?" "She's a child. Quite ... jejune, I'm afraid." He hoped that Fleurette didn't take it into her head to surprise him as Richard had done. It would be difficult to explain to her why he was putting her down. She was, in fact, as full of life as Richard, and just as perceptive, for the most part. "She didn't get her brother's ... fire." "Pity. I take it then that she did not live up to her illustrious name? I am disapointed. One would think that any child that was the product of your and Natalie's would be most promising." He licked his lip and eyed him tormentingly. "And yet, you say that she's not worthy of my interest in your estimation?" He was in a dangerous position, and he knew it. "She's my daughter. I love her. But she's not Fleur." LaCroix laughed. "Oh my dear Nicholas, for all the Immortal and mortal years that you have accumulated, you have remained unchanged. Just as your guilt once was to you, the pain that burns within me has become a companion to me. I will not take my revenge just quite yet. As your son pointed out, the timing is bad." It was the word "yet" that now rattled around in Nick's head, though he was relieved to find that he believed him. "Of course. Why take your revenge now when you have all of eternity for that?" "Of course." He eyed Nick carefully, "the years have been somewhat kind to you my Nicholas, even though, if I may say it, you look older than myself. However, I dare say that time will soon become quite cruel. I cannot bear to think of the unpleasant changes ahead of you." He nodded. He had been beginning to feel the effects of his age, from little aches and pains to the occasional angina. They'd always talked about growing old together, he and Natalie. Now it wasn't an option. "I ... I've thought it through, LaCroix." "And?" He flashed his best catlike grin. "And I'm ready -- almost." Here was where it would be decided. LaCroix would give him what he wanted, or ... or there would be but one more sunrise on Nicholas deBrabant. "Almost? What are you asking for Nicholas, more time to age, another day of your prolonged suicide?" LaCroix was running out of patience. He had no stomach for sentimental goodbye's, and he really hated the hypocrasy of funerals. "I'll be content with just a few more days. I'd like, I need to attend her funeral. If I didn't have to rest afterwards I'd say go ahead and do it now. But there is one thing." He thought about the eternity he was facing. Eternity without her when a single day seemed unbearable. But he knew there was no option if he were going to protect his family. "I'm not ready to leave this life, to leave my children." "What then," he hissed. "Will you stay with these poor feeble things after you have become immortal? Have you forgotten what it's like to be newly eternal? You will need someone to help you control your bloodlust, your overwhelming needs. What will your children think when they see you in a frenzy of hunger? You wouldn't even have the willpower to bring them across." His thoughts had begun to amuse him. "Perhaps I should leave you alone and without your self-control after I bring you back across. It would be a lovely revenge indeed to know that you will be compeled to drain those you hold dearest." He moved dangerously close to Nick, enjoying the power to toy with his mind. Besides, the idea did appeal to him. [End of Part 2] Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine: News of the Science Fiction Universe http://www.cybervanguard.com Come visit us, or write us at vanguard@packet.net for sponsorship info From owner-fkfic-l@PSUVM.PSU.EDU Fri Mar 8 00:37:13 1996 Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by violet.berkeley.edu (8.7.1/1.33-960227) id AAA03372; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 00:37:11 -0800 Message-Id: <199603080837.AAA03372@violet.berkeley.edu> Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (IBM VM SMTP V2R2) with BSMTP id 9552; Fri, 08 Mar 96 03:35:24 EST Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU (NJE origin LISTSERV@PSUVM) by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (LMail V1.2a/1.8a) with BSMTP id 4648; Fri, 8 Mar 1996 03:35:24 -0500 Date: Fri, 8 Mar 1996 04:50:59 -0500 Reply-To: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories From: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Subject: CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part (3/3) To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Status: RO X-Status: A CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: 'Til Death Do Us Part A Forever Knight story by TJ Goldstein and Sorcha O'Faolin [comments to vanguard@packet.net] [Part 3 of 3] Nick willed himself not to break LaCroix's gaze, his heart pounding once in his ears. "That's not what you want, LaCroix. You want me to accept what I was -- what I will be again. If I can complete what I started here, I can do that. That's what you've always said you wanted." LaCroix contemplated what Nick had said, but he did not move. "You have changed Nicholas. You have more self- control than you did in the past. At least you've learned not to let your panic show." He walked around him as if he were penetrating and reading his mind. "Yes, it would seem that my first assesment was wrong." He frowned "You have changed, and I'm not at all certain that I like it." "I should think you'd be happy that I've accepted my fate." "Oh, I am. Make no mistake about that, I am. But your resignation is much too quiet. I am disapointed that you give in so quickly, so easily. This is not the Nicholas of old." "Maybe it's because I finally got what I wanted, and now I've almost gotten it out of my system. You always said I would. And besides, I told you, I'm not quite ready to go yet." "You will never be ready to go. There will always be children, grandchildren, too many ties Nicholas. The sooner you cut them, the easier it will be." "No, the longer things go the harder it will be to explain why I'm still alive, for one thing. And I can't see being as close to my grandchildren as I am to my children. And the further out you go, the less ..." he stopped, recovered. "The less of her will be in them." "Very well Nicholas, I will honor your wishes for now. I'm sure that you remember however, what is expected of you." "You will have my obedience, LaCroix." He stood. "I'll need to make arrangements. I'll tell everyone I'm going away for a couple of weeks to get over this. We're burying her the day after tomorrow." "Make arrangements to leave that night. I'll arrive about an hour after sunset." Nick nodded. He really hadn't expected LaCroix to agree so easily, but he wasn't about to question it. Instead he turned, without a word, and headed back to the funeral home. He didn't know if LaCroix would follow, and frankly, he didn't care. Richard had been talking to an old friend of the family as he watched the door. He excused himself and headed towards his father. "Dad, is he gone? Are you O.K.?" He nodded and staggered to a chair, spent. Various family members and friends looked sympathetically at him as Richard helped him, thinking they understood. "Yes. I'm ... I'm fine. We need to talk. Later." Fleurette joined them. She sat down next to her father and gave him a hug. She smiled at him as she brushed her hand through his hair. "Hey Dad, I love you." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, honey." He looked around for a moment, panicked. "Where's Lucy?" "It's ok, Dad," Richard said. "She's with Claire." Nick could see Richard's wife crouched down on the floor near the back of the hall, with Lucy playing quietly. It was good that she'd finally stopped crying. It wasn't going to be easy to leave her, especially now. The evening passed quickly. Too quickly. Knowing it would be over soon made each moment fly by. Soon it was over, and friends, family said goodbye. Some of them looked as though they thought it was strange the way he lingered, but if they did, they probably chalked it up to grief. Finally he sat, again, in the front row, staring at her casket. It was closed, the way she'd wanted it, despite the fact that he wanted to see her again, to gently brush her face with his fingertips. It was ending. All of it. And yet ... And yet it would never end. When mortality had been but a dream they had talked about it -- how he could never leave anything behind the way mortals could. Now he had. He cradled a sleeping Lucy in his arms, cuddling her close. His Lucy. His favorite the way Richard had been Nat's favorite. Nat used to call her 'our bonus baby' because she had been born after Natalie had thought she was past being able to conceive. Each of their three children were special in their own way, and he loved Rich and Fleurette with his whole being, but there was something in Lucy that pulled at him in a way that no one else had, and he loved it. "I've got to go away for a while," he said suddenly. Fleurette had been sitting next to him. She put her head on his shoulder. "Sure Dad, will miss you, but we understand. I'll take care of Luce while you're gone." "I'll help her," said Claire. Richard was the only one who really understood. He had been standing at his father's side with his fists clenched in anger and frustration. "How long you plan to be gone Dad?" He stared imploringly into his father's eyes. Nick felt the old shame returning to burn in his cheeks, and began to look away. But no, he owed his son more than that. "A couple of weeks. However long it takes." He squeezed Fleurette's hand. He would miss her too, his beleagered middle child. "We'll really miss you Dad," Richard said with a mixture of anger and hurt. "Ritchie!" Fleurette looked annoyed at him. "This is a good thing for Dad. He needs it." Claire slipped her arm around her husband. "She's right honey. I think that Dad does need to get away for a while. We can handle Lucy for a few weeks, I don't mind." Richard's eyes were more than a little defiant as he stared at his father. "What about you Dad? Do you really think that this is a good move?" Nick smiled sadly. "It's the only move." "I think that Dad needs to be alone for a few moments." Fleurette picked up her sleeping sister and nodded towards the door. "We'll be waiting at home Dad, O.K.?" He watched her as they left. Although most children hated it, Fleurette seemed to thrive on being the middle child. She seemed happiest being in the middle of everything. She had always been the peacemaker in the family. That was Fleurette's strength, she cared. He smiled, he had been blessed and he knew it. Because of Natalie and his children, he was complete at last. Slowly he approached the casket. There would be no time to say goodbye later, he knew that. There was a dreamlike quality to his movements as he grasped the casket's handle and lifted. He had to see her again. He smiled at her face, still radient even in death. It had been decades since she had been a Medical Examiner, constantly dealing with death and smelling like formaldehyde. She had taken it in good humor -- or as well as any sane human could. Now it was her. Again he wondered how he could get through a day without her. Tomorrow he would be up with the sunrise, as he had been almost every day of their life together. He would take their children and be with them. Just ... to be with them. He broke. "Nat ... Nat ..." He felt the tears roll down his cheeks and realized with a start that they were some of the last saltwater tears he would shed. "Please forgive me." "We worked so long, and so hard to find a cure and now ... But I to Nat, you have to understand that. For the kids. He's always known where we were, we can't hide from him. If I don't go back ... he won't let it go, you know that. You, of all people, know that." He realized that a tear had rolled onto her face and gently brushed it away, grateful for one last contact. "You are everything, my darling. My life, my mortality, my existance. How can I go on without you?" He laughed bitterly. "If I had any guilt left, spending an eternity without you will certainly be penance for it!" He thought once more about the children. "I'll take care of them, I promise. They'll go on. go on in them." "Goodbyes are always difficult Nicholas." LaCroix placed his hand on Nick's shoulder. "You could have spent eternity with her. What a waste of youth and beauty." He looked at Natalie with sincere sorrow. Nick looked up at him, not knowing what to expect but not expecting what he saw. For a moment he allowed himself to believe that LaCroix was truly sorry. It was easier that way, knowing what was to come. "It wasn't what she wanted," he said quietly. "Even when she knew she was dying?" He sighed. "You know, you really did make immortality sound so depressing. Would it have been so terrible with her by your side?" Nick rubbed his eyes. "No. No it wouldn't." "I could have offered you both a life of immortality together. Now you will face eternity without her, with the knowledge of what could have, should have been." The words burned in his throat. "You see, I knew she was about to die. But I did not come to you until now. This is my revenge Nicholas." Nick turned on him, a little of the old fury spurring him. "I deserve that, LaCroix. That's what I was trying to tell you before. But she didn't!" He launched himself at the master vampire. Two decades of feeling suddenly released itself. "She didn't!" "Perhaps not, but then she was only human wasn't she?" He sneered with satisfaction, knowing that he had finally hit a nerve. "I have damned you to an eternity of misery. The same misery that I have known for over seven hundred years. I can tell you Nicholas that it never ceases. It's knife cuts and twists over and over, and still it shreds without mercy." The corner of his mouth curled. "You know what they say about misery, don't you Nicholas?" LaCroix hadn't moved, and Nick slid to the floor, spent. He knew LaCroix was right. He had known even before he had lost her. Two hours later, when a concerned Richard came back for him, he was still holding her hand, crying. [End of story. The sequel is CONSENT, FREELY GIVEN: Lucy] Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine: News of the Science Fiction Universe http://www.cybervanguard.com Come visit us, or write us at vanguard@packet.net for sponsorship info