Date: Tue, 16 Apr 1996 22:48:00 CDT From: Jill Kirby A Season Lost (0/1) a Forever Knight story by Jill Kirby This is a sequel to my story "No Such Summer." If you haven't read "Summer," it's on the Web site, the FTP site, or I'd be happy to send it to you. Without reading it, this won't make one bit of sense. I had absolutely no intention of writing a sequel, but as Jamie says, we don't always know who's driving the bus-- this one just wrote itself. The quote at the end is from an untitled sonnet by Edna St. Vincent Millay. Many thanks to Sharon Himmanen, Diane Echelbarger and Sheryl Bottner for beta- reading. Constructive criticism, praise, extravagant gifts or flames to jtkirby@mcs.com. A Season Lost (1/1) a Forever Knight story by Jill Kirby Ann Arbor, Michigan 2014 When the lecture ended, Anna didn't immediately get up and join the mass of students pressing their way to the door. Instead, she wasted time-- adjusting the clip in her hair (like that was going to hold her hair back, anyway), fussing with her books-- anything to wait for the room to clear. She was so busy trying to look busy that she started when her girlfriend Janie touched her on the shoulder. "Anna? You coming? We're going over to the Jug." "I need to talk to the professor for a minute." Anna smiled up at Janie. "Keep a seat for me?" "Sure. And hurry-- Tom's going to be there." Janie wiggled her eyebrows. "You wouldn't want to miss seeing I know." "Oh, go on. I'll meet you there," Anna laughed. She watched as Janie joined the last of the crowd leaving the auditorium. Then, taking a deep breath, she slung her backpack on her shoulder, grabbed her coat, and walked slowly to the front of the room where the professor was gathering his lecture notes. She'd never been the shy and retiring type, but this still felt awkward. Stop it, Anna, she said to herself sternly. You have every right to ask him why he stared at you through the entire lecture. "Professor Carroll?" He hadn't been watching as she walked up, but Anna had the strange feeling he'd been perfectly aware she was approaching him. "I'm Anna Osborn." "Hello, Ms. Osborn." Professor Carroll turned, fixing those incredible eyes on her. He really was quite good-looking, in a blonde sort of way. "What can I do for you? Did you have a question on the lecture?" "No." Anna shook her head. "I've done all the reading-- your lecture was great." It had been; he talked about the Mayan ruins like he'd been there a thousand times. "It's just-- well, forgive me if this sounds rude." She brushed back a wayward lock of hair from her face, wishing she were anywhere but here. She sounded so . "Well, you were staring at me all through class. Did I do something? I wasn't talking or...." Professor Carroll cut her off with an apologetic smile and a lifted hand. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to. You just..." He paused, and his eyes searched her face closely in a way that somehow didn't make Anna feel the least bit uncomfortable. "You just remind me of someone I used to know." Anna nodded, relieved. "Well, I'm glad I wasn't doing something wrong." "Not at all. Again, I apologize." "No problem." Anna hiked the backpack higher on her shoulder. "Thanks." "You're welcome-- good night." Anna half-turned to leave, but something nagged at her. "Who did you know that looked like me? I hear that everyone has a twin, somewhere." The professor laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Well, your twin was someone I knew many years ago, up in Canada. She'd be much older than you." The suspicion clicked in Anna's mind. "Natalie Lambert?" Professor Carroll had been in the middle of turning around to pick up his lecture notes, but when Anna said the name he halted. It was eerie-- he literally She'd never seen anyone go so pale and still in her entire life. "That's my mom," Anna continued hurriedly, uncomfortable. He still hadn't moved. Very weird. After a moment which seemed like a year, Professor Carroll turned his head and looked at her. "You're her daughter," he said, and his voice sounded nothing like it had moments earlier. "My name is actually Anna Lambert Osborn." Anna watched him carefully-- he didn't look well. "I got both my parents' last names." A slow smile crossed his face, and Professor Carroll leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms. "You're Natalie's daughter. I didn't even think about the possibility." "That's me." Anna brushed a hand across her curly hair with a sheepish grin. "Hair and all." He was looking at her in wonder. "Except for the color of your eyes, you could her." "I know. Everybody's always said that we could be twins, especially as I got older. That's why I had to ask." "The resemblance is remarkable." The professor studied her, his smile fading a bit. "How is your mother?" he asked intently, his eyes not leaving her. The way he asked the question-- well, it almost sounded like he to know the answer. Anna ducked her head, and one hand unconsciously went up to the locket she always wore around her neck. It still hurt to talk about, to think about. "Mom died almost two years ago," she said softly. There was a long moment of silence. When Anna looked up, the professor was even paler than before, which she hadn't thought was possible. He was holding on to the desk like it was the only thing keeping him from falling down. "Died? How?" The words sounded like they'd been ripped from some dark part of him. "A car accident. They said..." Anna paused, remembering. "They said she never knew what hit her." All of a sudden, the look in the professor's eyes scared Anna. They had gone from grief-stricken to absolutely empty. Dead eyes. "I'm sorry." Anna stepped closer to him, concerned. The professor shook his head. "No. Thank you for telling me." He forced a smile, and it was the most ghastly thing she'd ever seen. "You must miss her." "Very much." Anna couldn't even begin to tell him how much she missed her mom-- but somehow, looking at his face, she realized that he understood. He must have lost people he loved, too. "So... your father?" Professor Carroll was trying, obviously, to compose himself by changing the subject. "He's fine. Overprotective as always." "Is he still living up in Victoria?" Anna tilted her head. "Yes. Shall I tell him you asked after him?" Professor Carroll shook his head slowly. "No. I lost touch with your mother... well, before you were born. Before your parents married. I never really knew your father." Anna laughed, shortly. "You really lose touch-- they never got married." At the look on his face she hastened to explain. "Not that I minded-- they're great parents, married or not." Setting her backpack down on the desk, Anna slipped on her coat. "So you knew my Mom when she lived in Toronto?" "Yes." "You must have been pretty young." At his raised eyebrows, Anna blushed. "I didn't mean..." "That's all right." Professor Carroll half-smiled. "I younger then." "You were friends?" "Yes." His voice was soft, and Anna realized that he wasn't even in the same room with her any more. He was lost somewhere, long ago, before she'd even been born. "Good friends." He shook himself out of his memories. "I missed her very much when she left Toronto." "I don't know much about her life before me," said Anna reflectively as she buttoned her jacket. It was still hard to admit to herself that there was so much she didn't know about her own mother. Her parents had explained to her why they'd never married, but she still didn't think they'd told her the whole story. Every now and then, she'd seen something in her mother's eyes when they'd talked about Toronto-- something sad and painful. She certainly wasn't going to tell Professor Carroll all of that, though. "I know you must have made her very happy. You're a lot like your mother," said Professor Carroll gently. "More than just looks-- she'd be very proud of you." Anna's chin lifted. "I hope so," she said, with just a slight quiver in her voice. "I want that more than anything." "Anna?" Anna and the professor turned to see a tall, dark-haired young man walking through the door of the auditorium, hands in his jacket pockets. Anna's face lit up at the sight of him. "Hey, Tom. I thought you were over at the Jug." "Decided I didn't want you walking across campus alone." Tom nodded at the professor. "Hello, sir." "Hello." Professor Carroll looked at Anna's face smiling up at the young man. When he spoke again, there was a catch in his voice. "The campus really isn't safe at night. It's good that you have someone to walk with." "Well, your class is only offered at night," Anna reminded him. She slipped her arm through Tom's. "I'd better get going, Professor." "Yes-- it's late." He looked at her, and something in his expression made Anna catch her breath. "It was good to meet you, Anna Lambert Osborn." "Good to meet you too, Professor." He seemed about to say something, then stopped himself and shook his head. "Call me Nick. Your mother did." Anna nodded, though she couldn't repress a grin at the thought of calling one of her professors by his first name. "I'll see you next week." "Good night." Arm in arm, Anna and Tom left the classroom. "Call him " They couldn't know that the professor heard them clearly, even though Tom spoke in a whisper and they were halfway out of the room. "He knew my mom, I guess-- years and years ago. Weird, huh? He must have been just a kid." If they had turned around, they would have seen Professor Nicholas Carroll sink slowly into one of the auditorium seats and cover his face with his hands. If they had stayed, they would have seen that he didn't move from the chair for hours, but sat there quiet and still until just before sunrise. But they didn't turn around. Even if they had, they wouldn't have understood. I only know that summer sang in me A little while, that in me sings no more. The End Jill Kirby - jtkirby@mcs.com - http://www.mcs.net/~jtkirby/ My "contract with America" is the United States Constitution.